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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Dear Diana

Baby now matter what dear , I know we can can work this out but you have to trust me.
I do miss you and our kids.
I love you more everyday. Even if my heart is still broken it still belongs to you.
I just cannot tell you how much I Love you.
I want you and I want you and our kids back. There is I said it !!!!!!!!!
I fought for a long time for you and now the only thing I have left is my love for you and my faith.
Nothing feels this void in my heart. I cannot get you of my head or heart. You our in my dreams burned so deep inside of my thoughts. I dream about you and my mind is always on you and our children.
Am taking all of my classes.
Am taking this classes for myself, am taking them for our kids all four of them. And most of all for you.
You and our children is all that matters to me. I said it again I hope you understand that. Because I understand you are trying to keep our kids.
And I know that you still are still in love with me. How do I know this ? You told me remember when you called me just a few weeks ago ?
Am not going to push you into coming back yet. We have time I know this am not stupid.
Get the our kids back and then I want you and our children to come back home were you and our children belong.
The only thing I am asking you is too not give up on you and I. We still Love each other. True Love is what we have. A love like that is real and I do not want you to throw it away.
Am one true love and am your best friend. I will never turn my back on you.
I love you Diana I do want you and I need you.
Mike

Going to Anger Mgmnt.

I have ordered to take Anger Mgnt classes.
I really do not want to go these classes. I know I need them for I am very anger about Diana and the kids are with me at the moment.
I do need help over this. I do hurt over this there is nothing I want more than to be with my family.
Why am I being punished like this, what did I do in my life that I have to loose my family ?
Am not looking forward to this not at all.
Now , I know that I have to take these classes to get my family back but I cannot control what Diana does.
I want her back and I will do anything for this to happen.
I Love her and I do miss her and our children. I just pray too God that he will bless me that I will have the power in myself to bring back my family.
Only with God's grace that I can do this. Am no Superman, however I do have the heart as Superman. And there is nothing that I would not do for my wife and children.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Trying to be understanding

God works on his on time. I just to remember this.
I just get in a big ass hurry. I am so worried. Yet , I do understand that this is going to take time.
For me to get my life back on track.
I have faith and I believe in the fact that Diana and our children will get back together.
I just have to0 learn to let the good Lord do his job.
And I will give myself time to get things back in order when Diana comes back home to me.
Like getting our house back.
And fixing up our house. Such as getting a fence built .
Setting things up like our bank account.
This blog is about my life. I will keep posting about how things our going with Diana and our children and myself. God Bless you

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Asking

Lord please before I leave my friends house. i just want to talk to you for a few a little bit longer.
Am worried and am afraid. I want and need my family back.
Please bring us a good night together.
Lord I am asking you sir. Let tonight be the start of a good life together.
Please father I pray I ask and I begg you father.

I am praying for a good night with Diana

Well right when I thought that me and Diana was going to have another set back.
She sends me a text this morring and not only that she calls me up and tells me that she will be working tonight and that she wants to see me.
Well that last time we saw each other she gave me some head. And she left some marks on my neck.
She has told me that she does indeed Love me. But she is just so afraid that DHS will give her our kids back.
After all I do understand. I would most likey have done the same thing. But I would never turn my back on her no matter what.
Now her is her text to me after she told me she cannot see anymore.
"Hey am not mad at you. You have to understand that am trying to keep our kids. Sorry if this you think about our kids."

Now am really need help with my feelings about her. Now I know that I am in Love with her and I know that she is still in Love with me as well.
Everyday is so hard. I hate living without her and our kids the only time am truly happy is when we are together. Even if it is only for a few two hours A day. I really do pray that you God will bring us back together.
Everything that we have been through is like a Soap Opera.
It will be worth all the pain that we are going through at the end of this. When we our both done with court and we can work it out to be together again. I pray that the Lord our Father our God will hears me soon.

Friday, August 24, 2007

I really do need

Why am I having a hard time dealing with Diana.
Diana, has told me that she does still Love me but she thinks that if she comes back to me that she will not get our kids back.
It is so hard trying to get through this.
We are still talking to one another and yes we both have seen each other these past few weeks.
That I should be happy for that however.
I am not happy with the fact that we have not seen one another this week.

Can God please hear my prayers and help me and her to get our family back together.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Needing help with Diana

I do not know why am feeling blue today.
I talked to Diana twice today and we our going to meet later today as as well.
We meet up on Monday Night this week and she gave a little head and and I gave her some head as well.
It is not enough though. I want more not more sex but i want my family back.
There is nothing that i want more in this world then to have Diana and our kids back.
Am working hard on this, and i know she is trying as well. Even if she does not say she is. But when she calls me and writes me emails and and we meet up that is her way in showing me that she does care about me and that she Loves me.
Even if she does not say it. Her actions our talking for her.
Am not crazy am just in Love with her. I am lost without her however I have to stay strong for our family.
I have to try to find away too pay for house and for my classes that i need to take. I do not know if Taco Mayo will bring me back on I just pray that they will.
There is nothing that I will not do if they will not bring me back on.,
I have been giving blood to make extra money however I do know I( cannot keep doing it to much longer.
Lord I need your help like right now.
Can you please guild me and lead me to the right path to bring my family back together.
I cannot do it by myself.
I love my family with all my heart and soul please help me.
Am asking you to bless me and Diana.

Working Hard to get my family Back.

I do believe in God, I do believe in my faith.
I do believe that Diana and our kids will come back home to me.
I do believe that the Lord will get us through this.
My friends think am crazy. And Diana is having a hard time in dealing with her feelings about me.
She just does not understand how am so much in Love with her after all she has been so mean to me.
I love her with all my heart and soul and am her best friend.
She has been mine. Even after she has been so cruel too me. I know why she does try to push me away.
She is afraid.
It goes like the old saying that what you do not understand you try to destroy it.
Well she tried to destroy our love for one another. But the more she tried to fight her own feeling for me she just came closer to me.
I do not need to do nothing just to keep telling her that I love her.
And show her that I am very strong and am doing doing what I said I would do.
Like taking my classes seeing the Doctor and doing everything that the Judge tells me to do.
And most off all. Getting our house back and working hard to get everything back that we have lost.
It sounds simple right.
Well it is not. It is very hard to get everything lined up just right after what has happened but I have to get this done everything to the T.
I Love You Diana and I have always Loved You and I always will.

Am trying really hard to not to give up on Diana

Now I am trying real hard to fix mine and Diana's problems.
I know she has to do her share to as well.
We have been talking and we have been seeing one another. Every day an trying to keep my goals set and work for them.
My goals are simple I want my family back. Mikey , Ruthy , Randy , Deah , and the love of my life Diana.
I know that she loves me. Why ? She is talking to me after all this time. After all this time that we went through.
But what makes us stronger as a family.
We can work this out. And I know with God on our side we can get through this.
I will always bring myself up for this fight for my family.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Still In Love with Diana

Everyday I fall more in Love with Diana. I miss her.
I just cannot stand it. When we are a part.

Love you Baby.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Everyday is getting better between Diana and I

Last night Diana and I went out and we talked some and we kissed and messed around a little ok we messed around a lot.
I love her with all my heart and soul. And Diana , told me again how she really feels about me. Now I want her back so so bad and our kids.
And I pray that God will bring us back together.
And this time I will not let down God and Diana and our kids.
I miss her with all my heart and soul. And God knows that I am in Love with her and Diana is still in Love with me too.
I cannot tell you how much she means to me. I cannot put it in too words. I love Diana so damn much. I need her and I want her.
I want to hold her again and kiss her.
She and the kids means so much to means.
Well am still going to do everything for my family. Am nothing without my family.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

A Promise to Diana and our kids

I miss you and our kids.
Diana , I am at a lost of words right now.
I am here for you. I just cannot get you out of heart .
I love you am in Love you Diana.
I never knew that the pain would be this deep inside of me. Nothing helps to stop it.

I will always Love you Diana. It is not too Late for us. I know you Love me too.
And I will always Love You.
I will get everything back soon trust me. I have never let you down and I will be damn if I do it now.

Just give me some time Diana, I am going to work soon.
I just got all of my back pay to my unemployment check. $2000.00 dollars.
So I will be a car real soon. Then i will get my phone back on .
i know I will go back to work this week or next week.

I will get our house back and I will take all of the classes.
Am not doing this for myself but am doing it for all four of our kids Deah , Randy , Ruthy , and Mikey.
But of all I am doing it for you and me.

I need you and I want you back. I can say it better than that
Expect by saying that you are and have been and will always be the Love of my Life.

Love You Always, I really am in Love with you Diana all I have is my prayers that you will come back soon.

Love You Baby am always going to the be in Love with You Diana
Mike

God Answers Prayers

God does answer prayers. I know it is to be true, but I do believe that God is giving me a chance to get my life back.
First I got all of my back pay.
Then I got a job interview this coming week. And My back pay is going to be enough to buy me a car.
And My ex girlfriend Diana called me.
Am telling you God is leading me in the right path. Now if you think am wrong that is your choice a lone. I believe, and my faith does not need anyone else to have anyone else to believe in.

Yes, I have faith that I will get a car this coming week. I faith that i will a job real soon and I believe and have faith that my family will soon come back to me.
God Bless you.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Diana the Love of my Life Calling me back

I do not know if I should say this on my Blog yet , am going to post it anyways.
I have posted about the Love of my Life Diana.
Well , yes she did leave me. But she is calling me. And she is hinting around that she made a mistake. Thank God.
I knew I has right. I knew it. I knew she wants to come back. And I know she still Loves Me.
But how do we fix this.
I need to know.
I love her and I cannot get her out of my heart. I cannot get out of my mind.
I do not know what to do.
We need help.